QUEEN AFRICA

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the-dick-lord-levi:

So we have an Italian exchange student at our school. And he and I were hanging out and he saw a pony, and he tried to show me but he didn’t know what it was called so he just pointed at it and said “Look, the compressed horse.” 

And then he just grinned at his complete understanding of the English language.  

(via orphanbanshee)

bestnatesmithever:

itswallie:

 #that took me a second to get #this is a very involved joke

So patient. So good.

(Source: awesome-, via orphanbanshee)

koblala:

jayrockin:

Snowflakes are actually the perfect metaphor for people. Each one IS unique, but we all have the same structure and are pretty similar in spite of our differences. And really, with as many around as there is, aint no one gonna notice your differences unless they care enough to look closely.

People are also similar to snowflakes in that it is difficult to drive when there are too many of them piled up on the road.

Well that took a turn I didn’t expect

(via stormafter)

pocketsizepeople:

beben-eleben:

A Summary of Marvel Movies

and then there’s The Amazing Spider-Man 2

(via orphanbanshee)

dutchster:

*stands behind a cute girl while pretending to talk loudly on the phone*
"yeah too bad it’s valentine’s day and i’m single. such a shame given my huge dick and expert lovemaking skills. i guess i’ll just have an expensive dinner all by myself"

(via alecstasy)

sexualbae:

won’t drink lukewarm water but i’ll put another person’s genitals in my mouth

(via take-me-im-alivee)

east coasters: i drove through 17 states on the way to work
west coasters: i have been traveling in this desert for 49 years. generations have died. children have been born. when will i make it to the promised land
Midwesterners: I haven't left a 20 mile radius in 2 years
floridians: please help me there are so many oranges they are attacki-

work-it-out:

people who put the video link in a little “x” under their gifs are my favourite kind of people

(via orphanbanshee)